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3 Tips To End Toddler Tantrums

We often think of tantrums as synonymous with toddlers, yet this is certainly not the case. While most toddles are prone to an occasional tantrum, it’s the toddler who tantrums frequently that tends to drive parents crazy.

For these more severe and frequent tantrums, the solution is sometimes quite simple . The principles of behavior management, which will put you back in control of your home, begin with these three insider tips. For severe tantrums, you may need a more comprehensive game plan. But let’s start with a general assumption:

Toddlers tantrum because they’re frustrated, and not getting what they want. (Yet, we know that they must learn to cope with not always getting exactly what they want!)

In many ways, toddler frustration is understandable. They’re beginning to make their way in the world, and find that mom and dad is often saying no or setting limits and they don’t like it.

At other times, they want something, and they haven’t learned that they simply can’t get everything when they want it. This also is understandable.

However, just because a toddler is frustrated as they learn to adapt to the world, it does not mean that we want to feed into that frustration. In fact, having frustration is natural and necessary. It’s the learning process that occurs in the face of frustration that will actually teach your toddler critical life lessons.

Thus, if you try to avoid all the frustrations that upset your toddler, you deprive them of opportunities to learn. More importantly perhaps, you will see that this strategy is only a short-term solution. Over time, you just simply can’t avoid the frustration. However, if you keep trying to ‘fix it’ and protect your toddler from such upsetting situations, you teach them a very dangerous lesson: “Mom will always make my life okay and fix it for me.”

This simply is a set up for failure. While at a young toddler age, it may not appear so dangerous, it clearly becomes evident as time goes by. Rather than learning the life skills to cope with future friends, situations that change, and inevitably not always getting what they want, the toddler in this protected world FAILS to start building these core skills of getting through an upset.

The following tips will help you get on track.

Tip One: Don’t feed the Toddler Tantrum

Notice how a toddler tantrum works. It tends to draw lots of attention. Perhaps the warm up period involves lots of whining and complaining. This alone tends to get our attention

Tantrums consistently and repeatedly pull us into them! They become a source of a great deal of energy, and with that energy comes bigger tantrums.

Again, it’s understandable that mom and dad want to stop the tantrum — so they start to discipline their child in the midst of the tantrum. Yet, as every parent comes to realize, this effort to verbally contain a tantruming child is an effort in futility. It doesn’t work!

In fact, if we step back and observe the tantruming child, we see that the tantruming behavior gets worse and worse over time.

Why? Because tantrums feed off of the energy and attention we give them.

Yes, initially we may see that a child can be “talked out of” a tantrum or upset. Yet, as time goes on, we see that these efforts to talk the toddler out of a tantrum only leads to more frequent tantrums and tantrums that escalate more quickly and violently.

Tip Two: Toddlers must learn to handle limits on their behavior and their time.

Over and over again, you’ll see that toddlers are getting upset because they do not like the way that their reality is unfolding. They would like for mom and dad to get off the phone. They would like to be able to play longer. They want to stay up as late as their brother or sister. They don’t want to eat their vegetables. And the list goes on.

Yet, mom and dad are trying to establish these limits because they will create a healthy and more successful lifestyle. If your toddler is allowed to eat what they want, they will become obese and develop extremely picky eating habits. If your toddler is given what they want every time they tantrum, their behavior will become unbearable. If you end up negotiating with your toddler, in giving their voice an equivalent value to a grown-up voice, you will end up always negotiating.

Toddlers need to accept the limits of their reality, and the more you accept this truth — the quicker they’ll get through their tantrums and go on to live calmly and peacefully with structure, routine and consistent daily limits.

If you honor these three tips, they will begin to point you in the direction of limiting and stopping those toddler tantrums. My “Stop Toddler Tantrum Package” offers you a comprehensive step-by-step parenting formula that will get rid of those tantrums in three to seven days. Use these toddler tips to get started, and search out tested and proven strategies, such as The Tantrum Fixer, to make sure you get through this toddler tantrum quickly and easily.

Tip Three: Do Not Imagine What Your Child Is Feeling.

For some of you, these tantrums may seem to grow. They get worse…right in front of your eyes.

It can appear as if your child is falling apart!

The problem is that we tend to put adult interpretations on a toddler tantrum. We imagine how much upset they are feeling, and think how horrible it would be for us to go through this.

This is not your child’s reality.

Upon getting what they want, you see an instant change. Not 10”, or a minute later…but instant.

Your child’s state is not as severe or extreme as it appears. The tantrum reflects the undisciplined emotional world where you try out everything you have ….to get what you want.

If you stay away from such interpretations, you will find it’s easier to stay on track. Honor these three tips and you will be on track for a rapid change. In the event that your toddler has severe tantrums that won’t go away, consider my Stop Toddler Tantrum Package, which will teach you not only how to eliminate tantrums, but includes bonus tools to build esteem, end whining and get your toddler to calm rapidly.